Sneedles to say.

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Sneedles to say, I got a real titter out of the creative missives sent to me last week through readers with gripes who ne to master a grip.

Consider.

-Missive 1: "Are you thick? Did you calculate upon the president to purchase a ticket forward American Airlines?"

Dear Gerald: It's sick, not thick. I just musing it would be inappropriate for the president to use Air Force the same to fly his nettlesome self to a voting booth in Crawford, Texas, at the taxpayers' charge just because he forgot to procure an absentee ballot (which would have single cost 39 cents).

-Missive 2: "I am not being unwrought but I am confused daily by means of your picture and name onward your column. You clearly contemplate like a woman, but I don't know any women named Michael. Are you a man or a woman?"

Dear Kathryn: Rarely do I be excited like a Michele.

-Missive 3: "If single read your column every day, single would assume everything that happens in Chicago has to do with politicians, the Pritzkers and a hardly any visiting movie stars. There is an entire world of real Chicago commonalty out there that you apparently have no idea that exists . . LIKE ME."

Dear Jack: not ever assume . . . further I loved your vignettes, which began: "Did you know that the ancient 42nd Ward produced singer Frankie "Rawhide" Laine, Olympic swimmer Johnny "Tarzan" Weissmuller, comedienne Martha "The Mouth" Raye, actor Dennis Farina, comedian Jack E Leonard . . and that not everyone came from Bridgeport?"

Did you know, Jack continued, "Dennis Farina's dad was a doctor forward North Avenue and Larrabee road and that he would work with needle and thread up a wound for 25 cents? That Dennis' brother Roland was maybe the chiefly handsome blond, blue-eyed Adonis in Chicago? That Frankie Laine (Frank LoVecchio) lived in succession Schiller Street down the fill up from Weissmuller? That Jesse White came up from Alton, Ill., in the early '40 and landed in an all-Sicilian 42nd Ward forward Division Street and was instantly a hero with us kids?"

-Thanks, Jack. further this trip down memory lane reminded me to what extent old I was.

Joltin' Joe . . . . is hittin' Chicago.

-Translation: Personal items from baseball fable Joe DiMaggio -- including a picture of his equally legendary ex-wife Marilyn Monroe signed "To Joe" -- will be upon display at the National Italian American Sports Hall of Fame here from April 4 by the agency of 10 before their May auction in of recent origin York. The Hall of Fame is upon Taylor Street, natch.

I scout . . .

An especially jovial Michael Jordan arriving in a burgundy Bentley at Cabaret, where he was spott sipping Dom Perignon, puffing a stogie and greeting well-wishers in the VIP area.

Rosty's resurgence . .

antique soldiers never die, they just fade away. Not in such a manner in the case of the once-powerful House Ways and Means chief Dan Rostenkowski, who may be outta office on the contrary not out of the papers.

-To wit: In a new Roll Call article, Lawrence Haas, a former Clinton aide, hailed Rostenkowski as single in kind of Congress' great fiscal hawks, calling him individual of the "deficit-busting heroes of the 1980 . ."

Please note . .

We were correct in stating the communications firm of Bill Knapp, Gov Blagojevich's media man, was hired from Cook County Board President John Stroger's campaign, if it were not that we were incorrect in stating media consultant Jerry Austin has been replaced. He remains with the campaign and is at work forward another ad.

The volume beat . . .

Sun-Times religion maven Cathleen Falsani will discuss spirituality with living fable Studs Terkel at 7 pm Tuesday at the Borders bookstore onward Michigan Avenue. Terkel is the same of the many bold-faced names profiled in Falsani's fresh book, The God Factor: Inside the Spiritual Lives of Public race

Sneedlings . .

Condolences to the family of veteran Maggiano's maitre d' Marco Roversi, who squandered his battle with cancer last weekend . . Today's birthdays: James Taylor, 58; Liza Minnelli, 60; Kevin Matthews, 49 and Darryl Strawberry, 44

e-mail: sneed@suntimes.com

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